Homily 21 on Ephesians by John Chrysostom (?-407)

A new part of my daily Bible time is to read some of the greatest Christian teachings in history. One that was recommended was Homily 21 on Ephesians by John Chrysostom.

It begins with the authority structure of the home, with the husband as the leader under God, the wife below him, and the children under the mother and father. Most of the sermon is about teaching children – a subject very dear to my heart.

He dwells on two verses:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with promise), that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.

– Ephesians 6:1-3

and

And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but nurture them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord.

– Ephesians 6:4

I don’t want to summarize the whole message for you, you can read it yourself here. I do want to quote a little bit of his teaching. I added emphasis and paragraph breaks to make it easier to read than on the whole sermon page.

Let everything be secondary with us to the provident care we should take of our children, and to our “bringing them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord.” If from the very first he is taught to be a lover of true wisdom, then wealth greater than all wealth has he acquired and a more imposing name.

You will effect nothing so great by teaching him an art, and giving him that outward learning by which he will gain riches, as if you teach him the art of despising riches. If you desire to make him rich, do this. For the rich man is not he who desires great riches, and is encircled with great riches; but the man who has need of nothing. Discipline your son in this, teach him this. This is the greatest riches.

He’s saying that teaching your children a job or a skill so they can make money is not as important as teaching them God’s word and truth, which will teaching them true wisdom and build character.

Seek not how to give him reputation and high character in outward learning, but consider deeply how you shall teach him to despise the glory that belongs to this present life. By this means would he become more distinguished and more truly glorious. This it is possible for the poor man and the rich man alike to accomplish. These are lessons which a man does not learn from a master, nor by art, but by means of the divine oracles.

Seeking power and glory is also empty and ungodly. We need to teach children to despise the glory and power of this world because it is truly empty and temporary.

Seek not how he shall enjoy a long life here, but how he shall enjoy a boundless and endless life hereafter. Give him the great things, not the little things. Hear what Paul says, “Bring them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord”; study not to make him an orator, but train him up to be a philosopher. In the want of the one there will be no harm whatever; in the absence of the other, all the rhetoric in the world will be of no advantage.

Being a great speaker who people listen to is worthless without being able to think clearly, with godly wisdom.

Tempers are wanted, not talking;
character, not cleverness;
deeds, not words.

These gain a man the kingdom. These confer what are benefits indeed. Whet not his tongue, but cleanse his soul.”

There is true weight to the responsibility of raising children in the Christian faith. It is not merely to answer the Sunday school questions of “Who is God’s son?” and “What is sin?”. The weight of being a parent is of teaching and training our children. Helping them to think like people in God’s kingdom. While the lessons at school can teach our kids some things, that is only a little sliver of what they need to learn before they are grown. Learning about faith, compassion, grace, judgement, holiness… the stuff of character are part of our duty as Christian parents to instill in our children.

Chrysostom also encourages us in that it is not only us, we are in partnership with God in this, but be mindful of his warning:

Let us beseech God that He aid us in the work. If He shall see us interested in this work, and solicitous about it, He will aid us; but if He shall see us paying no regard to it, He will not give us His hand. For He does not vouchsafe us His assistance when we sleep, but when we labor also ourselves. For a helper, (as the name implies,) is not a helper of one that is inactive, but of one who works also himself.