I have a challenge for you that will transform your bedtime struggles, build quality connections with your children, and prepare your children for lifelong success—all in only 30 minutes a day.
Interested? Imagine the stresses of the day melting away, your children gathered closely around you, listening as you transport them to faraway lands and courageous adventures. How? Through family story time.
I know you want to connect with your children in peaceful and meaningful ways, no matter your circumstances, I have a system that can work for any family. It’s not hard. All it takes is 30 minutes a day. The last 30 minutes, so it’s easy to fit into any schedule!
Take the 30 Minutes for 30 Days Challenge and see what the habit of family story time can do for your family!
Why Story Time?
I know you’re asking, why story time? What’s the big deal? Throughout history, humans have spent the end of the day sitting together and sharing stories. After hunting or farming all day, this storytelling tradition around the campfire or fireplace helped pass on the wisdom of one person to all the others, and the wisdom of past generations to future ones. Stories are the bedrock of every human culture. We are wired for story. From cave paintings to the traditional songs and dances of different cultures to oral traditions and written accounts, humans use stories to communicate with each other, especially with children. So, to pass on knowledge, wisdom, and traditions we need to use the language of our hearts: storytelling.After nourishment, shelter and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.
Stories communicate ideas and facts so much better than simply listing them out. Stories resonate with children on an emotional level, helping them remember important ideas.
For example, you want to let your kids know that when you tell them to go somewhere, they need to go straight there and not wander off somewhere else. You can state this fact to them: “Go straight there.” Will they listen? Maybe, maybe not.
What if you tell them the story of Little Red Riding Hood? They are entertained, but they also see the danger of wandering off the path and not going straight to grandma’s house: they could be gobbled up! You can still follow up this story with a “Go straight there,” and I bet they will remember the message! Stories are how ideas come alive and take flight.
Why Books?
You might wonder why family story time can’t be accomplished by watching TV shows together. While TV and movies are also story-based, I would encourage you to choose book-based story time for many reasons.Books are mentally better for children
The American Academy of Pediatrics states that children who are read to “are better prepared to focus their attention and understand how stories work, compared to children who primarily engage with screens.”Books Enhance Emotional Skills
Research by David Comer Kidd and Emanuele Castano showed the power of literary fiction to develop empathy for others: “Reading fiction, particularly literary fiction, enhances the reader’s ability to understand the emotions and perspectives of others, cultivating empathy more effectively than visual media.”Books Build Creativity in Children
In a recent substack post by author Mac Barnett and author/illustrator Jon Klassen, they discussed how amazing children are in bringing so much to the stories they read. Here are a couple of the quotes I love:Children’s stories are often shorter, or simpler on their surface, than stories for adults. But that’s not because kids are simpler creatures—their stories are allowed to be that way because kids are able to carry more than adults in their relationship with a book. As authors we can give them just a little bit, and we can trust them to inhabit it and run with it in all the directions we hope for, and many more besides.
Picture books are one of the few places where adults and kids can meet as equals. And where sometimes kids, unbound by convention and alive to the possibilities of language and art, can show adults how to read.
Reading Builds Academic and Lifelong Success
Numerous studies have shown that more reading leads to more success at school, in careers, and in relationships. The more reading a person has done, the more stories are at their disposal for decision-making, and the better decisions they are able to make.
Here are some interesting quotes from some of these studies:
“Reading proficiency by third grade is the most important predictor of high school graduation and career success, with early literacy leading to lifelong educational achievement.”
D. J. Hernandez
“Children who start reading for pleasure at an early age are exposed to exponentially higher numbers of new words—and a greater opportunity to develop literacy skills—than children denied early reading experiences.”
National Endowment for the Arts
“Reading has cognitive consequences that extend beyond its immediate task of lifting meaning from a particular passage. Furthermore, these consequences are reciprocal and exponential in nature. Accumulated over time—spiraling either upward or downward—they carry profound implications for the development of a wide range of cognitive capabilities.”
Anne Cunningham and Keith Stanovich
I had a Mother who read me the things
That wholesome life to the boy heart brings–
Stories that stir with an upward touch,
Oh, that each mother of boys were such!
You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be–
I had a Mother who read to me.
Story Time for the Whole Family
Many families read aloud to their small children, but continuing this habit as your children get older will create memories and bonds that last a lifetime. The whole family can be involved: picking stories, or as children grow older, taking part in reading aloud. The only time I could convince my son to read aloud to me as he was learning to read was during family story time. To have his bedtime snack, he had to read to me first. This improved his reading and self-confidence in just a few weeks! Reading together creates shared experiences and ideas, leading to family discussions about what you have read. These range from family jokes based on a quote from a book (we have so many of these in our house) to more serious discussions of topics like death, courage, and fairness. By reading books together, you have a groundwork for discussing these ideas, which is difficult without that shared experience. Another benefit to reading aloud to older children is reading books above their current reading level. This will expose them to more difficult words which expands their vocabulary and prepares them to read with more understanding as they grow older. Reading together also gives us a safe environment for learning to share our emotions with one another. By piggybacking off the emotions of a character in a story, we can learn how to share what we are feeling with our children and vice-versa.What is home? My favorite definition is “a safe place,” a place where one is free from attack, a place where one experiences secure relationships and affirmation. It’s a place where people share and understand each other. Its relationships are nurturing. The people in it do not need to be perfect; instead, they need to be honest, loving, supportive, recognizing a common humanity that makes all of us vulnerable.
Picking the Right Stories
Since stories are so powerful, as parents, one of the most important gifts we can give our children is giving them the best stories. What kind of stories? Well, in Philippians 4:8 there’s a great list: “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Just as feeding children vegetables helps their bodies stay healthy and grow, feeding children good stories will help their spirits stay healthy and their character grow. The opposite is also true. Stories can be damaging and harmful if too many of the wrong kind are told. In our home, I let my children pick books at the library and we read them together. Sometimes we read a story and I disagree with what it is teaching. When that happens, I tell my children why I dislike the story. There are good stories and bad stories, and finding a bad one isn’t the end of the world – it opens the door for me to tell my children that not every story is a good story. When they learn this, it will help them think to themselves, “Is this a good story?” and after hearing many good stories, they will have better judgment for their solo reading.Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
Since it is so likely that (children) will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage. Otherwise you are making their destiny not brighter but darker.
How To Structure Family Story Time
We’ve covered the history, the reasons for reading together as a family, and the benefits, but let’s get to the nitty-gritty. How do you set up a successful story time?
At its most basic, you pick a book, sit down together, and read out loud. I do have some tips to help you get going though! I also want to encourage you: even though I started this at birth with my kids, I have also fostered children, and even older children will love this routine after they get used to it. In fact, if we ever have a day when we can’t get to our story time because of other obligations—the kids are heartbroken. It becomes everyone’s favorite time of the day.
Here is the structure we use in our home:
STEP 1: Bath time / Showers
This helps everyone be clean, relaxed, and settle down from the day.
STEP 2: Put on comfy PJs.
(Grownups can wear them too – even if it’s only 6:30 pm!)
STEP 3: Bedtime Snacks
Eating a snack at book time helps curb wiggles and complaining. We love apple slices, as a healthy and easy bedtime snack.
STEP 4: Pick a story.
Let your child pick the book. If you have more than one child, they each get a story (if they are picture books). If it’s a chapter book, I like to offer suggestions that appeal to everyone.
STEP 5: Sit together and read.
Children can look at the pictures (for a picture book), eat their snacks, color a picture, work on a puzzle, or play with a toy quietly during this time. By allowing children to do something with their fingers while the book is being read, they can sit and relax for a longer time.
STEP 6: Finish bedtime routine.
Brush teeth, tuck into bed, say prayers, and sing lullabies.
BONUS TIPS!
Allowing your children to pick their own story doesn’t mean you don’t have input. You can vet the books first. The key is allowing them to choose from your pile so that they will be more invested in the book.
Family story time is not limited to picture books! Older kids love hearing books read aloud. Read a chapter a day!
If you struggle with reading aloud, listening to audiobooks together as a family is great, too! Remember also, that the more you practice reading aloud, the better you will become.
Keep your books rotating by visiting the library as a family.
Browse some quality booklists for reading ideas.
Remember: if you are just starting this habit… new routines take time to get set. It will probably be a struggle for the first week or so to get started at the time you want to. If you don’t get 30 minutes a day as you start, it’s okay! 10 minutes is better than 0. Anything is better than nothing. Take your time and get into the routine and before you know it you will have a new habit!
Take Up The Challenge:
I want to challenge you to do a family story time for 30 days. To get you started, I have a list of great read-aloud books for every age. Pick from the list or visit the library and pick your own favorites. Make sure to have extra books available so you don’t run out before you finish the whole 30 days.
If you are joining the challenge, leave a comment below and let me know! I’ll be cheering for you! You can also grab the image below and post it on your social media to share this challenge with others.
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